Diamond on a Landmine
by myLITTLEnekoSHIRO
Summary: The kid was hurting. Kensei couldn't blame him. But then again, he couldn't help it either. He just had no memory of ever being in love with the boy. KenShuu. rated M for language and later chapters
1. Chapter 1

**I've been obsessed with Matrix, Ghost in the Shell and the various life philosophies and fate dribble movies. Hence this story was born. It might not look like it but it was inspired by it along with something else I can't remember. I wanted to make this a GrimmIchi but for some reason it just fit KenShuu more. Plus that couple is the apple of my eye at the moment. Made listening to "Diamond on a Landmine" and "Surrender" by Billy Talent. Good songs. You can see why I felt it necessary to name the story after one of them.**

**Oh, and this was supposed to be a oneshot but I couldn't help adding details and more scenes because…well…I wanted to avoid loopholes in the plot. I do believe there are some because there's just always a glitch. So now it's a multi-chapter story. But I hope you all still like it! This is one of my fave pairings and I wanted to do a direct story on these two compared to my "Just A Number" story where I do Hisagi's life and POV.**

_Those eyes observed him tentatively, their cloudy color seeking some sort of permission. A tongue swiped over plump lips. Before they leaned over to press softly against his own._

'Ai, for the last time, no means no!' Kensei sighed in exasperation. The silver side-ponytailed teenager pouted and crossed her arms.

'But, Da-deeee!' she whined and stomped her foot. 'All my friends have one! How come I can't have a kPhone L3?!'

'Firstly, all your friends are stuck-up 14-year olds who are given more than they should be. And secondly, it's too stupidly expensive for me to give a damn about it!'

'DAAAAD! You're _always_ being so _mean_ to me!'

'Alright, alright! I'll buy it! Jeez, don't throw a tantrum in the store!'

But the young girl completely ignored her father's last comment and took to jumping up and down in glee while clapping her hands.

'Thank you, Daddy!' she squealed and tiptoed to kiss the gruff man on his cheek. 'I love you!'

'Yeah, _now_ you love me,' Kensei grumbled as his daughter skipped off to choose a color for her new phone. Suddenly, something smacked him at the back of his head.

'Stop spoiling her all the time, Kensei!' tutted a slim, pretty woman with a jet black mane that swayed gently as she hefted the purple-haired baby in her arms a little higher. Her husband grinned sheepishly.

'I can't help it. She's my angel, Sayo,' Kensei admitted. Then he tickled the chin of the baby boy who gurgled happily. 'How's my champ?'

'Hiro is hungry again,' Sayo sighed. ''He's got a big appetite. Just like his father.'

'What can I say? We like to eat. Would you like me to feed him this time?'

'No, it's all good. Besides, I think Ai needs your wallet more than anything right now.'

'Well, at least she gets the grades. See you in a bit, babe.'

He pecked the petite woman sweetly on the lips, watching her smile that smile that made him first fall for her. Her grey eyes sparkled as she took one last glance at him before walking out the store.

He twisted his single jade studded wedding ring around, wondering how the hell he landed such a beauty as Sayo as his wife. He was one lucky bastard.

He turned around to locate his overzealous "angel" and yelped in surprise.

'Jesus fucking Christ, kid,' he gasped, surveying the dark-haired boy now standing casually before him. 'A little warning before you go sneaking up on people like that, huh?'

The teenager simply tilted his head to one side, as if he was observing Kensei. It gave the silver-haired man a minute to recompose himself and give the boy a once over. He started.

Not that the boy looked odd. Youngish. Could pass as 20 but was probably only 18. He was dark all over; milky coffee skin, slate grey eyes, ebony spikes all over his head, black leather jacket, shirt and even blacker jeans along with fingerless black gloves. The typical punk goth look.

But what really made him start was the number 69 stamped so defiantly across the boy's cheek. A carbon copy of the same type branded on his own abdomen.

He'd gotten his on a drunken whim back in his college days and just didn't have the heart to get rid of it. He wondered how the kid got his and most importantly, why was it so identical to his own.

He whistled.

'Um, interesting tattoo, kid,' he finally managed to utter, contempating on how he was going to ask without seeming like a stalker.

'You've got the same tattoo across your stomach,' the dark teen remarked curtly. Kensei blinked in shock and staggered back.

'How'd you-?' he sputtered, his heart racing again.

'I've known you for a very long time, Kensei,' the boy murmured softly, eyes looking pained for a split second. Then they hardened.

He flicked dark shades that had been perched on his head over his eyes. They reflected twin images of a bewildered Kensei. Nodding, the teenager walked briskly out of the store.

'Daddy, Daddy!' Ai yelled and tugged on her father's arm insistently. 'I want the one with the pink cover and automatic texter! Please, please, _please_?'

Kensei recovered and craned his neck towards the store exit, his daughter's voice dulling out.

Just who the hell was that kid?


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I was shocked by the reception this story got! :O Especially by the KenShuu writers who's stories I have come to read RELIGIOUSLY! Thank you so much for the reviews! And here's the next chapter ;)**

**Oh! Pic is from Aarinfantasy and colored by dieyuu on deviantart**

_His heart thrummed in delight as the body under him writhed in pleasure. Moans cascaded from lips swollen from all the passionate kissing. Hands scrambled up his back, nails digging into skin as if holding on for dear life. Legs tightened around his torso as he thrust into the tight heat again and again until he shuddered violently into his release, reveling in the sound of his name being screamed out by that lovely, lovely voice..._

'Shit!'

Kensei scowled as he glanced at his empty wallet. He just _had _to forget his credit card today of all days. And he had really been looking forward to a grande double shot espresso before getting to his hell of an office.

Damn those dreams. Giving him a headache and a raging hard-on early in the morning. Was he that fucking horny or something?

'Coffee?'

He looked up and though his heart jumped, he remained collected on the surface and simply narrowed his eyes.

'You stalking me or something, kid?' he growled, suspiciously eyeing the same dark teen. The boy chuckled melodiously. Oddly enough, it made Kensei tingle. In a good way. Oddly enough.

'Does "coincidental encounters" fall under "something"?' the teen asked casually. He stepped ahead of the older man at the coffee vendor on the bustling street. 'Grande double shot espresso, right?'

Kensei's eyes widened. Fuck, this was just freaky now.

'Listen, kid,' he said firmly as the mysterious boy handed him his coffee. He was using the same tone he did with Ai when he wanted to come off as dead serious. 'I don't know what you're playing at but you're starting to creep me out.' He sipped the coffee and his eyes widened. 'One sugar cube and-'

'-no milk,' the boy finished, a smile slowly spreading across his face. 'Just the way you like it.'

Kensei blinked, his throat dry.

'Look, if this is a joke it ain't funny,' he said uneasily. 'You know my name, where I go, not to mention how I like my coffee which my wife has yet to memorize.' His jaw tightened. 'Am I a target for someone? Are you...what do you want from me? Is it money?'

The boy watched him with mild interest, silent as ever.

Kensei fidgeted impatiently and glanced at his watch. Shit, he was going to be late. Why the hell was he even giving this strange kid his time? He should just turn around and walk away. And yet, he was mesmerized by those eyes. They struck such a familiar cord. Like they had always been watching over him, protectively, admiringly, _lovingly_...

He shook his head. This was RIDICULOUS. They had just met! Should a stranger feel so familiar?!

'No.'

Kensei started in confusion, abruptly pulled from his thoughts.

'Sorry?'

The boy leaned back casually, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets.

'I've got no reason to ask you for money. It's not what I want. Not from you.'

Kensei stared. Then, he groaned and scrubbed a hand over his face. He glowered at the now smirking teen between his fingers.

'I am very tempted to call the cops on you right now, kid,' he muttered.

'But you're not.'

'Giving you the benefit of the doubt. Start explaining.'

'We're not real.'

'Uh-huuuh.'

'Nothing's real. Everything is fake. We're not even really talking to each other.'

'Right. Okay, _now_ I think you're tripping on something, kid. And I think I ought to call your parents rather than the cops.'

'My parents are dead, Kensei. You know that. In fact, you know as much about me as I know about you.'

'Right. And your name is…?'

'You know.'

'I don't know if anyone has given you the memo yet, kid, but I actually _don't_. I'm fucking clueless. And you know what? I think I'd like to _stay_ clueless. Thanks for the coffee but I prefer not to meet you again. Bye.'

Kensei swiveled around to leave.

'Do you really love her?'

'Who?'

'Your wife. Sayo. Do you really love her?'

Kensei gritted his teeth but kept his back to the teen.

'Kid, fuck with my head as much as you want but leave my family, especially my wife, out of this.'

'Shuuhei.'

'Huh?'

'My name is Shuuhei. But you always called me Shuu.'

Heart beating wildly, Kensei quickly turned around. The boy was gone, swallowed by the constantly meandering metropolitan.


	3. Chapter 3

_Kensei skimmed his hands over smooth skin. This felt so familiar, so exquisite, so RIGHT. A voice murmured something soft and sensual that made his blood tingle._

_His hands ran through soft, black locks, clutching tightly and tugging hard. The voice tapered to a sharp hiss. Then, one hand gripping a rounded hip, Kensei lined his leaking cock and thrust forward. The cry that followed echoed endlessly to the furthest crevices of his mind. It made him feel…feel…_

Kensei glanced at his watch. Ten minutes till the sub arrived to take him home. He could smell Sayo's chicken pot pie already. He closed his eyes and licked his lips.

'Sure is late, ain't it?'

Kensei blew air hotly between his lips and opened his right eye to glare at the boy called Shuuhei lounging in a chair two seats away from him. He was getting used to the boy popping out of nowhere now. Though that didn't mean he was okay with it. It unnerved him how at ease he was around Shuuhei. He never relaxed around people. To feel so comfortable around this kid was DAMN WELL messing with his head.

The boy had taken to lie across three seats with his legs hitched up and facing Kensei.

'Will you fuck off already?' the older man growled, looking ahead at the empty underground station before him. There was no one but him and the Shuuhei kid. Just his bloody luck. 'I don't know what you want but you sure as hell aren't getting it.'

'How do you know that?'

'Because you keep fucking coming back!'

'Maybe I'm not asking the right questions.'

'You haven't fucking asked me anything of importance!'

'Haven't I?'

Kensei growled again. He had it. If the boy wasn't going to leave him alone then he was just going to have to get away from the brat himself.

'Hey…'

Kensei jumped at how close the voice was and fell off his plastic seat. He cursed out loud and stared at the youth staring down at him with a bemused look.

'Do you want me to ask you questions "of importance"?' he asked. His voice was measured and surprisingly gentle. Kensei raised an eyebrow and bit his tongue on a sharp retort. He merely nodded and picked himself up. He could hear the subway approaching.

'Are you happy, Kensei Muguruma?' Shuuhei queried. Kensei snorted. _This_ was an important question?

'I've got two beautiful kids, a gorgeous wife and a high paying job,' he answered gruffly, adjusting his tie. 'I think I'm more than happy.'

The boy gave a single nod, as if in understanding. But was it what he wanted to hear? Kensei couldn't tell. His face was as expressionless as ever.

'Is there anything you would like to change?'

'Hell no. Unless I can own a shotgun. Would be fun to scare the shit out of Ai's dates.'

'Do you ever have dreams, Kensei Muguruma?'

'Doesn't everyone?'

'Do you ever have dreams…that seem too real?'

Was the boy's voice getting softer with every question?

'Erm, what kinda question is that, ki-I mean, Shuu?'

Kensei didn't know what made him use that nickname. It seemed to hold a very intimate meaning. For the boy. And yet, he felt not a single ounce of discomfort for using it.

Shuuhei glanced at the floor, a soft smile gracing his lips. The sight made Kensei tingle. He frowned. This was a second time he got that feeling when he saw the boy looking happy. What was going on?

'I mean, do you ever feel that you've lived before? As in, lived a _different life_ before?'

Kensei's eyes slanted in confusion.

'I don't...think so,' he murmured.

Shuuhei's head snapped up and Kensei was shocked to see them reflecting hurt. Had he said something wrong?

'As in lived a _different lifestyle_, in a _different world_, with a _different person_!' Shuuhei's voice was rising in urgency as he stepped closer and closer to Kensei, forcing the man almost onto the subway rails below.

The boy's face was set as ever but his eyes…they spoke volumes; volumes of a very broken, very painful, very _lost_ past. And he seemed to be trying to tell-no, _remind_ Kensei about it.

Suddenly, Kensei gripped Shuuhei's arms, holding him in place. Just like the invisible force gripping his heart right now.

Shuuhei didn't react and allowed Kensei's eyes to rove over him unabashed. He kept his own eyes fixed on a point somewhere above Kensei's head. Kensei's fingers dug into the boy's arms.

'You're not telling me something, kid,' he snipped delicately. He finally let go. 'Or rather, there's something you're not _asking_ me.'

He noticed how his hands had left grip marks in the leather jacket. Shuuhei didn't try to fix them. His grey eyes had travelled to lock with Kensei's. He swallowed slowly, his Adam's apple bobbing.

'Did you ever feel you were in love with someone else?' Shuuhei whispered.

The subway roared in, slowing down at its destination. Kensei stared on, speechless. The only thing running through his head was _how the hell did the kid know?_

Then, he curled his hands into tight fists.

'Get lost, kid,' he spat out quietly.

Shuuhei didn't move a muscle. The subway doors slid open soundlessly. Kensei took to leave. Which was the exact moment Shuuhei grabbed the lapels of his beige coat, dragged him close, and locked his lips over the older man's.

Kensei's eyes widened. His body froze. He couldn't move. Or perhaps…he didn't want to. Those lips...God, they felt _so good_ against his; not wet at all but perfectly full and deliciously addictive, making Kensei _want_ to kiss him back.

Shuuhei finally moved away. Kensei almost followed, not wanting to lose the feel of those lips. He held himself in check, eyes darting over the flushed teen as the boy touched his reddened lips, eyes in a daze and cheeks a dusty pink. He felt something stir inside him. Something _deep _and _carnal._

He suddenly realized what it was. It was lust. He _wanted _the boy. He _wanted _Shuuhei.

Kensei's eyes widened as he stared at the teen. _Just who the hell was this kid?_

Shuuhei refused to make eye contact now and simply flicked his dark shades over his eyes. Then, he shoved Kensei into the sub, taking the older man by surprise.

'What the-!' Kensei swore but before he could react, the door pressed shut and was zooming away. All he caught was the small smile on the youth's face and the lazy salute he expressed to the older man.

Kensei kicked the doors in anger and shouted obscenities. Just what the hell was going on around here?!


	4. Chapter 4

**If I'm not too late with this warning, the story is going to be a sad one and I cannot promise a happy ending. That is all**

* * *

_Kisses…whispers…giggles…sex…_

_The air was heavy with their breathing and moans. The sound of skin slapping against skin resonated in that dinky room. But they never cared about the room. It was their haven. It was where they became one for that short time and felt like they had escalated to heaven. _

_Before they remembered the hell they actually lived in._

* * *

'Will you ever stop?'

Kensei stopped in his tracks, ignoring the people tittering angrily behind him before they sidestepped him to continue walking down the busy streets. He clutched his espresso tightly in one hand and the newspaper in the other, waiting for the teen behind him to reply.

'Am I bothering you that much?'

Was that a playful tone Kensei detected? No, he had to dig deeper. It didn't look like Shuuhei was the type.

There was a tinge of despair in that voice, he realized.

Since when could he read the boy so well?

'Do you have any more questions?'

He turned around to see Shuuhei open his mouth to answer. He cut in quickly.

'Because I have some too.'

Now it was Shuuhei's turn to blink in surprise. Then, he nodded compliantly. Like he was used to doing it.

Kensei nudged his head in a direction.

'Shall we?'

* * *

'_I love you...' Kensei breathed, thrusting at a faster pace._

_The figure under him moaned loudly, melding in with the creaking springs of the bed and the harsh banging of the headboard against the wall. Bodies glistened with sweat as the two figures moved to some rhythm only they knew the beat to._

'_I love you...'_

_The sounds rose in volume and speed._

'_God damn it, I fucking love you...Shuu.'_

* * *

'Are you the one?'

'Who?'

'The one I'm supposed to have been with in another life or some shit? Humor me but I think I'm willing to hear whatever you got to tell me despite how crazy it might sound.'

Shuuhei snorted, wolfing down his sandwich. He stretched out one leg down the steps of the building they were currently seated in front of. Before them, the city continued its business. Nobody even glanced in their direction.

'Does "fuck buddies" classify as your "some shit"?' he mused. Kensei rolled his eyes. Shuuhei lowered the sandwich, his face softening. 'You were always taking care of me, ever since we met in the real world. At first, it was just out of convenience. But then, it became a necessity. We just needed each other. You were my reason for living. And I…'

He inhaled sharply. Kensei didn't know if he should continue but this question had been eating away at him for a long time. Well, ever since he decided to take Shuuhei seriously about all this. And ever since that kiss.

You had saved me when I was just a kid,' Shuuhei continued, concentrating a bit too hard on his sandwich. 'I was getting mugged in an alley when you showed up and knocked the stuffing out of those guys. I still remember that. You were like an _animal_. Those guys had picked the wrong day to mess with _you_.' He scratched his nose, biting his lower lip to hide a wide grin. 'One of them tore your shirt though. And that's when I saw your tattoo.'

His hand flickered up to trace the "69" on his cheek. At the same time, Kensei touched the one on his own clothed abdomen. But his eyes were fixed on the teen.

'I never saw you again after that,' Shuuhei murmured. 'I didn't even get to thank you because you just left without a word. But I searched for you. God, I searched like _crazy _for you. I even got your tattoo so that if we ever met, I could tell you how you totally captivated this boy all those years ago. And of all the places I find you, it's in the virtual world.'

A shy smile played across his lips now.

'You knew me instantly. And, well, we just clicked at that point. We spent so much time together, both in the virtual and real world, that it was hard being apart. I remember asking you whether we were a couple or something. And you answered, "Does 'fuck buddies' count as your something?"'

Shuuhei chuckled lightly, before his smile vanished completely.

'When you were gone,' he said shakily. 'I think I went into a state of denial. You couldn't be gone. You just _couldn't_.'

He took a shuddering breath. Kensei's eyes slanted in worry and curiosity.

'What happened, Shuu?' he murmured. He knew he was really laying it on thick, using the pet name he probably used for the boy. But he needed answers. And he needed them now before he exploded.

The teen broke bits of bread, rolling them into miniature balls.

'The world I live in,' he breathed. 'The world _we_ actually live in, is a destitute. There is nothing there. Humans have devastated it to a wasteland.'

'Charming,' Kensei remarked dryly.

'We all try to live our life in a virtual world,' Shuuhei continued, eyes flicking momentarily towards Kensei. 'In _this _world.'

'...you trying to tell me this world ain't real?'

'I'm trying to tell you that this world projects a fabrication of perfection.'

'As in...that everything is too good to be true? My kids? My Sayo?'

His last line made Shuuhei flinch. Kensei could see the way his knuckles whitened as he clutched his knees.

'That's the point, isn't it?' he answered tightly. 'So you never feel the need to pull the plug and face reality.'

'Well, yeah, but…'

'You said you'd be willing to listen.'

'Never said I'd believe.'

'That isn't my goal.'

'What is it then? You seem to know an awful lot about me anyway so please fill in the blanks, _Shuu_.'

He was mocking the boy now. It was cruel but this "fabrication of perfection" bullcrap was pissing him off.

Shuuhei hesitated, chewing his lower lip anxiously.

'You were looking for the Primus,' he finally uttered slowly. 'An existing entity that could change everything; our broken world, our distraught lives, even eliminate this world.'

'Woah, woah, woah. Why would anyone-I mean, why would _**I **_want to do that? If you ask me, there's nothing wrong with this world and living like this can't be bad for us. Right?'

Shuuhei smiled morosely.

'I saw someone kill himself because of this world,' Shuuhei murmured, staring at his hands in his lap. 'He just couldn't take it anymore. Didn't know what was real. So he took a gun to his head and...'

He shuddered and clenched his hands into fists before looking up at the sky with pity. It was greying. Rain was coming.

'You see, Kensei, living like this, depending so desperately on figments of our imagination, we're only killing ourselves slowly. So you tell me, does it _really_ sound like a good thing?'

Kensei looked around him; at the gathering clouds above, at the people ambling by on the streets, at the building they were sitting under and having a midday snack. He suddenly felt unsettled. Just how much of this was real and _right_ anymore?

'You wanted to change things so bad, Kensei,' Shuuhei sighed, eyes fluttering shut. 'You kept telling me you were going to fix things. I don't know why you thought it was your responsibility. I told you to wait. Find out what the Primus looked like before you went out. That I'd go with you. It was just like you to ignore my plea.'

He gave a light chuckle, brow furrowing.

'I remember hating you for leaving, hating myself for letting you leave and hating everyone else for failing to find you. It was like you had vanished without a trace.'

Shuuhei gripped the fabric of his jeans tightly. His hands were shaking.

'I thought you were lost in the data flow,' he forced himself to continue. 'Worse, I thought you didn't exist. That I was living…all that time I knew you…I was living in this fucked up fake world. You know I almost shot myself? Because I thought if I died, I could escape my nightmare and find you smiling at me again. I almost lost hope. And then, one day, I found you. In that store.'

Tears were streaking down his cheeks from his closed eyes. Kensei didn't trust himself to interrupt. He didn't even trust himself to breathe. Shuuhei may be looking composed but bit by bit he was coming undone right before Kensei's eyes.

'You were real, Kensei. Do you know what that meant to me?' Shuuhei's voice was cracking. 'And you had _kids_! A family, a life, a _normal_ life, damn it! And a _wife_. _Fuck_, I don't even know how I was able to keep myself together for so-!'

Kensei gently cupped Shuuhei's face in both his hands. Startled, Shuuhei's eyes shot open, letting go of all the tears that had been building up there. He looked at Kensei helplessly, his grey eyes almost translucent from all the water pouring from them. Trembling, the boy lifted a hand and placed it tenderly on Kensei's cheek. The touch was electric. Kensei almost nuzzled his face into the hand. Just like he used to.

He stilled Did he just.._remember_?

He stared at Shuuhei.

'Kiss me,' he suddenly growled.

Shuuhei's eyes rounded. He licked his lips nervously. Then, rubbing a thumb over Kensei's cheekbone, he tilted his head, closed his eyes, and leaned forward. Their lips connected.

Kensei instantly pressed forward, drawing a muffled squawk from the boy. But the teen kept his eyes shut tightly and kissed back just as insistently.

Kensei licked Shuuhei's lower lip. Soft. But dry. Just like last time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Second to last chapter, you guys. Seems short, especially after _this_ chapter but trust me, I'm a professional. I knows what I'm doing B-) (not really X3)**

**So _AN_Y-WAY, in the words of peppermint quartz, lemons are a good source of vitamin C so make sure you get your daily dose XD**

* * *

This wasn't a dream anymore. This wasn't something he believed would never occur. This was real. This was happening. And the crazy thing was, it felt like he had been doing it forever instead of just in his dreams.

How else could he have known about the cute whimper Shuuhei made when he nibbled behind the boy's ear? How else could he have known that Shuuhei liked to thread his fingers through Kensei's silver locks while he planted one searing kiss after another onto Kensei's lips? And how else could he have known that the boy liked to be fucked raw and hard till his legs trembled and Kensei's cum leaked from his ass?

He should feel guilty. This should feel _wrong_. He was _married _for fuck's sake! He was married and yet here he was fucking a goddamn _teenage boy_ in the very same bed he slept in with his wife. The devil probably had his name on the VIP list for Hell by now.

Too bad he just didn't fucking care.

Being here, having Shuu clutch his neck for dear life as he rode Kensei's rock hard cock, breathing in the lively pine scent off the boy's skin, it felt like he finally _belonged._ As if his entire life there had been something missing and now...now that void was gone.

'Kensei,' Shuu whined, pressing a sloppy kiss to the man's sweaty neck. 'I need...I need to...'

He suddenly inhaled sharply and buried his face in the crook of Kensei's neck, screaming out his orgasm. His body spasmed uncontrollably and his hole squeezed Kensei's cock so tightly the older man hissed in pure pleasure. He gave a few more shallow thrusts before he came too, gripping Shuu's hips tightly to keep the boy in place as he filled him up.

Kensei winced as he realized Shuu had bitten him on his neck. The boy licked it as if in apology. The sensation made Kensei shiver and he felt his dick harden all over again. And this time, it was still inside Shuu.

The younger man glanced up at Kensei, eyes lidded and dark with lust. He pressed a languid kiss to Kensei's lips, moaning in pleasure when the older man responded instantly. They parted, their lips still brushing as they connected foreheads and Shuu shifted so that Kensei's cock drove even deeper into him.

Kensei suddenly pulled him up so that the teen straddled his lap and his body was flush against the older man's. Without giving Shuu time to overcome his surprise, Kensei bucked up. Forcefully.

'Oh fuck!' Shuu gasped, body jolting and then trembling as Kensei kept thrusting up into him. 'Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...'

Kensei just grunted and kept pounding the boy's prostrate as fast and as hard as he could.

'I love you.'

Kensei stuttered in his pace. His skin tingled when Shuuhei placed an open-mouthed kiss to his jaw.

'I love you, Kensei,' the boy murmured, his breath ghosting over Kensei's Adam's apple. He then nuzzled his nose lovingly in that space. 'I love you so much I'm damn afraid of losing you again. It...I _need_ you, Kensei. It's just..._so hard_...to watch you love..._someone else_...'

Kensei probably should've said something then. Actually, it was _expected_ of him to say something then; a denial of Shuuhei's claim, a declaration of love for this vulnerable boy, perhaps even a discovery that Kensei remembers _everything_.

But he didn't say anything. And it affected the boy who suddenly stilled, even his breath, and dug his nails despairingly into Kensei's shoulder.

Kensei curled a finger under the boy's chin and tilted it up to face him, heart jumping at the lost look in those stormy eyes. Shuuhei bit his lower lip, thinking, wondering, hoping. Then, eyes slanting, lips puckering, he pressed his mouth softly against Kensei's. His tongue darted into Kensei's mouth, coaxing it alive. Kensei responded, eyes falling shut lightly as he rubbed a hand along the nape of the boy's neck. The kid was a _damn_ good kisser.

But that was all there was behind the kiss. It seemed like the boy was always instigating the kisses, as if hoping against hope that Kensei might just remember _something_. He could remember snippets of the past the boy spoke of; of the two of them, together, kissing, holding hands, making love. He knew he had been madly in love with this boy; why else would Shuuhei come undone so willingly in his hands? But he couldn't remember, for the life of him, that same love and try reciprocating that love to the boy.

He could probably fuck Shuuhei till sunup and cum every time but he just _couldn't _remember the mad adoration he had had for the lively boy who claimed to be his lover. And the boy knew it. Which is why it hurt so much when Kensei said nothing after Shuuhei just bared his soul.

He realized Shuuhei was moving away from him now. He kept his eyes shut, as if dreading to see those eyes again. Those eyes that wanted something so _badly_ from him and yet, as much as he wanted to, he just couldn't give it to the boy.

He finally opened them, forcing back a grimace when he caught sight of those imploring eyes. He shifted his legs uncomfortably, suddenly realizing he was still buried deep inside Shuuhei, rock hard.

The action caused his dick to rub against Shuuhei's prostrate, making the boy's eyes widen, lips part to let loose a strangled cry and body to shiver with pleasure. Kensei chose that moment to slide his hands from Shuuhei's waist to the curve of the boy's round ass. He gripped tightly before bucking upward, making the boy whine wantonly and drop his head on Kensei's shoulder.

'Sorry, kid,' Kensei grunted, resuming his pace.

He hoped the boy would take that he was sorry for the sudden thrust. That Shuuhei would be so overwhelmed by pleasure that he'd forget what just happened. But the boy was smarter. He knew what Kensei was apologizing for. Because soon his shoulders were shaking, long after Kensei released into him, and there was no mistaking the quiet sobs escaping his lips.

* * *

**P.S. (because I just like annoying people with my random thoughts****) As much as I love foreplay before sex, I don't like writing about it because it bores me out and _I_ endup impatiently waiting for the nitty gritty smut. So decided to skip straight to it in this chapter. Meh, see you next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**O-kay I think it looks like **_**this**_** is the second last chapter. The one I was writing was getting too long and I have an OCD of having all my chapters a certain length. I personally don't like uber long ones because you're just put off from reading so much. Short, sweet and simple are damn good stories be they oneshots or multichapters. S'long as they get to the point.**

**On another note, I opened up a deviantart account! YAY! Same name! Please visit :3**

_**Anyways**_**, I hope the previous chapter wasn't disappointing. I mean, maybe you were expecting something else but see, I wrote this entire story as a oneshot but changed it later because it was getting too long and my OCD kicked in. Plus I kept adding stuff because I like certain reactions more than others. So the reason some chapters seem too abrupt that was because it was all supposed to be one continuous block at one point. Sorry for any confusion! Without further ado, another chapter!**

**Proceed…**

Kensei groaned in pain, turning over so he was lying on his back instead of his stomach. Shit, he shouldn't have overdone it. He should've stopped after the second time. Just what the hell was he trying to achieve?! Guiness record for most Kama Sutra positions done in under 3 hours?! Although he doubted the one they did against his door was even possible. Damn, the kid was fucking _flexible_.

He reached across the bed and frowned when he felt emptiness. When he heard his bedroom door shut quietly did he start out of bed.

'Hey!' he barked as he threw the door open, making Shuuhei freeze in place. 'You could've at least said goodbye, kid!'

'...you could've at least thrown on a pair of pants,' the kid replied after a beat.

'...Shit.'

'I actually didn't want to say bye,' Shuuhei admitted as Kensei zipped his trousers up. Kensei looked at him warily.

'Too sentimental for ya?' he asked curtly. The boy smiled bitterly but said nothing. Kensei sighed and ruffled his silver mane. 'Look, ki-Shuu, I'm..._willing_ to give..._this_' he gestured to the space between them, 'a try. Hey, maybe I'll even remem-'

'Don't,' the teen cut in shortly. He folded his arms. 'Just forget this ever happened, hm?'

Kensei stared, stunned.

'Forget?' He repeated incredulously. 'How the _hell_ am I supposed to _forget_ the last 3 _fucking hours_? No pun intended.'

Shuuhei's cheeks flushed pink. He absent-mindedly tugged a lock of his hair that was down the side of his face and just a tad too long.

'You're uncertain,' Kensei said suddenly and pointed to a surprised Shuuhei's hand that was pulling his hair. 'You do that when you can't make up your mind. See? I remember stuff! If we work on this, maybe I can remember more. Maybe even how much I loved you.'

Kensei was doing it again. Laying it on way too thick. But it got the effect he wanted.

Shuuhei's eyes rounded. For a minute, he looked tempted. Then, just as quickly, he shook his head fervently.

'No, this isn't right!' he scolded himself, covering his ears and keeping his eyes squeezed shut. 'You're...you _can't_. It's asking...I can't ask you to do such a thing.'

'You're not making me do anything,' Kensei growled, striding over and pulling Shuuhei's hands away from his ears. God, why did the kid have to _complicate _things?! 'I'm doing this because it's fucking _killing_ you. I'm not blind. This is hurting you. So at least let me try to help you here, kid.'

'I told you _don't_. You can't...you can't _force_ yourself to fall in love with someone. It's just..._stupid_.'

'Stupid? You didn't think it was so stupid when I was fucking you in my bed, _Shuu_.'

'It wasn't because you loved me, Kensei. You were just venting.'

_'Venting?!_ About fucking what? That I couldn't remember?!'

'Exactly.'

_'What?'_

'It's killing you to remember. I'm not blind. This is hurting you too, Kensei. Which is why we should just let things go.'

'Don't give me bullcrap. You can't avoid things forever, Shuu.'

'I'm not avoiding _anything_. Now let me _go_.'

'_No_. Not until we've sorted this _out_.'

'We've got nothing to _sort_.'

'Tell me the _truth_, Shuuhei.'

'Let me the _fuck _go _right now_, Kensei.'

'Not until you tell me why-!'

'Because you have a _wife_!'

Shuuhei's eyes suddenly snapped open to glare at Kensei, blazing with fury and anguish.

'You have _kids _to raise,' the teen hissed. He still let Kensei grip his wrists as he vented. 'You have a _home_ to support. Be a fucking man and realize the consequences if this spirals out of control! What if you never remember? What if your wife finds out? What then, huh, Kensei?! How're you going to explain things then? What _brilliant_ explanation will you come up with for your affair with a fucking _kid_?'

Kensei's eyes narrowed and he pulled Shuuhei closer. The boy barely batted an eye.

'And what's with this sudden recollection of your moral code, huh, _Shuu_?' Kensei remarked icily. 'If I remember correctly, _you_ were the one to approach _me_.'

Shuuhei's eyes flashed.

'At least I'm thinking about it,' he shot back just as coldly. Then his voice suddenly became harsher. 'And why the _hell_ are you _suddenly _interested in me _after_ we slept together? What, is it the sex? You want to "try this"...' he gestured mockingly between them with a trapped hand, 'because you like having _sex_ with me? Where's _your_ moral code, _Kensei_?'

Kensei swallowed, mind blank. He could think of nothing. Nothing save for one thing.

He smashed his lips against Shuuhei's, pushing the stumbling boy backwards into a wall. Pinning the teen's thin wrists to the wall, he pressed his entire body against the desperately squirming, tinier frame, pushing his mouth insistently against the helpless teen's. He didn't care if he was hurting Shuuhei. He was just bloody _pissed_.

He jerked away, hissing in pain as his lower lip throbbed. He tasted blood and glared at a breathless but equally furious Shuuhei. A bit of Kensei's blood tinged his lips when he had bitten the man.

Shuuhei roughly wiped his lips and jerked his jacket back in place. His eyes narrowed.

'Never thought I'd hate the moment you'd finally kiss me first,' he spat. 'Goodbye, Kensei. Have a fucking _great_ life.'

He walked by quickly. Kensei glowered after him.

'I don't get you, _Shuu_,' he jeered. 'Thought you were _madly_ in love with me. If I loved someone as much, I'd do everything I can to help them.'

The teen lingered at the door for a moment.

'I am helping them,' he answered loudly. He walked out, slamming the door so loudly that Kensei flinched.

The older man stared at the door. Then he groaned, covering his face with one hand.

'Shit, you really screwed up this time, Kensei,' he muttered to himself, hurrying to the front door, the boy's name on the tip of his tongue. However, when he opened the door, a different name left his mouth.

_'Sayo?'_

'Ken darling! You're home early!' his wife chirped brightly as she walked in.

'Er, yeah,' he answered nervously, looking out to see that Shuuhei was nowhere in sight. How did he get away so quickly?

'What happened? Did you get off early or you just wanted to surprise me in all your muscular glory?' She teased, arms akimbo.

Kensei twisted his wedding ring, wondering what to say. The jade stone glowed softly. Kensei blinked, his body relaxing.

'Erm, I guess I got out early to surprise you,' he admitted, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. 'Maybe an early dinner date before we go pick up the kids?'

'Oh, you romantic!' she squealed and rushed into his arms to kiss him fiercely on the lips. He wrapped his arms gently around her, responding eagerly to the affection.

God, he _loved_ to kiss her. She was his entire world. Sayo never failed to fill his heart with warmth and love. He had never felt more complete than when he was around his darling Sayo.

'Mm, by the way, how did you know I was home?' she asked as she lay her head on his chest.

'Hm?'

'You opened the door before I even took out the house keys! Were you going out to find something?'

Kensei rested his chin on Sayo's head, raking his brain. Why _did _he step out? Was he trying to find something?

'Can't remember,' he admitted in defeat. Then he grinned slyly. 'Maybe it's 'cause I could smell your perfume a mile away.'

Sayo giggled and smacked him playfully on his chest. Kensei grinned before the two shared another tender kiss.

His ring flared brightly.

**Well, brownie points to anyone who can guess what just happened**


	7. Chapter 7

**Long time no see, huh? Well, this is the last chapter. For sure. Thank you all for sticking around! I might get a lot of hate for the ending but I forewarned that this wasn't going to be a happy ending. Writing a sequel is also out of the question because I don't have much luck with sequels. Either I lose interest or my readers do.**

**Before I sign off, would it be too much to ask you lovely people to respond to a poll on my profile? Just gonna take a minute! I'm going to get super busy so I only have time for oneshots and basically my poll is asking what oneshots you all would like! If all the pairings will get a vote each, well, guess I'm going to have to write all of them XD**

**Thanks and happy reading!**

**Proceed...**

**UPDATE: Forgot to mention! Cuzosu guessed right in the last chapter so kudos! The Primus is the ring! Just thought I finally reveal that to you all now!**

* * *

'Shuu...'

'Don't fucking call me that, Kira!'

The blonde flinched and scurried after the heated teen who stormed down the wire walkway of their underground division. The minute Shuuhei had deprogrammed himself from the virtual world he had wrenched his helmet off, eyes fiercer than a stormy sky, and stomped out of the chamber.

'But...Shuuhei...listen, Shuuhei, you can't go in there,' Kira continued timidly.

'Do I _look_ like I give a fuck?' Shuuhei snarled, placing his hand on the scan bed. It beeped green and the doors thrummed open.

'No, but, Shuuhei, you can't just...Shuuhei, will you...Jesus _fucking _Christ, Shuuhei, _you can't just walk in there with a fucking plasma ray gun!'_

The doors closed, leaving Kira's warning hanging in the air. The boy's shoulders slumped in defeat.

'Will you quit _pining_ after him already, Izuru?'

'I'm not pining, Yumichika!' Kira answered sharply and glared at the effeminate man with a stylish bob who was conveniently lounging in the hallway.

'That's odd,' the man teased. 'Because the way you follow and comfort him makes you look like a lovesick pup to me.'

Kira's skin bloomed apple red and he tried to hide it with his shirt collar.

'I don't get it,' he murmured and looked at the doors next to him in confusion. 'Why is he so persistent? Does he want to find the Primus that badly?'

Yumichika sighed and shook his head.

'For someone who's in love with Shuuhei, you honestly know very little about him,' he remarked ruefully, glancing at the doors himself. 'Shuuhei never cared about the Primus. It held nothing of importance to him. But it meant a lot to Kensei. Hence it meant a lot to him.'

'But Kensei Muguruma doesn't even _remember_ him,' Kira pressed. 'Why is he trying so much then? Every time he goes into that virtual world he comes out disappointed. And this time...this time he was _pissed_. He just walked into the pod section where they keep Kensei's body. With a _gun_. Yumi, could he mean to-'

'Shuuhei? Heavens no!' Yumichika chuckled. 'He would never. Not to Kensei at least.'

Kira glanced almost bitterly at the door now.

'What's so special about him?' he sulked. Yumichika smiled sympathetically at Kira.

'You can't understand,' he mused languidly, eyes flicking to the door momentarily before locking on the curious blonde. 'No one can understand the magnitude of their bond and what lengths they went through to be where they are now. Kensei and Shuuhei share something very powerful, Izuru. I suggest you find someone else. Because Shuuhei isn't going to change his mind about Kensei that easily.'

* * *

'You're an asshole, you know that?'

Shuuhei stopped pacing, eyes narrowing. He unhooked the gun's safety latch and scowled at the spherical pod. Kensei's body floated lifelessly, his face so peaceful he could be sleeping. A cord coiled from behind his head. His sole connection to the virtual world. And his sole reason for still being alive.

'Always thinking you could tell me what's good for me,' he snapped. '_God_, you can be the biggest bastard on _Earth_ when you want to be! Do you know how fucking _annoying_ that is?! I am sick and tired of your fucking shenanigans! _GROW. UP!'_

He aimed the gun at the pod, right in the middle of Kensei's chest. Silence ensued save for the occasional air bubbles popping in Kensei's sphere.

Shuuhei gulped painfully. His gun hand trembled, finger hovering over the trigger.

'I could do it,' he whispered. 'End everything. Pull the plug, ironically. But then, there's the chance that you won't come back. That because your mind is so oblivious of the body's existence, it won't come back if we unplug you. And then all we're left with, all _I'm_ left with, is an empty shell. Almost like you're...dea-'

He stopped talking. He couldn't say it. It was too painful. He lowered his weapon, letting it clatter to the iron floor as he trudged up to the pod. He pressed a hand to the glass, so forcefully it was like he hoped to reach through and touch his lover. His face was bathed in the green glow of the globe as he gazed longingly at the figure floating inside.

'Did you find it?' he whispered softly, like he was asking a secret in a room crowded by people. 'Did you find the Primus? Those who venture out for it never come back. Not even when their bodies have aged and turned to dust in this world. We believed that either the Primus destroyed you or…_controlled you. _When you disappeared, I was afraid that the same would happen to you. That you had left me. You know I cried myself to sleep every night thinking about you? I'd search the virtual world for you till my mind couldn't function anymore. The only thing that kept me going was that I knew, as long as you were looking for the Primus, I'd keep looking for you. And guess what I found one day?'

He gave a watery chuckle, tears building in his eyes.

'I found your family. And you were _happy_. You always told me you wanted a normal family. How you wanted kids of your own one day. You didn't care if we had to adopt. You wanted both the kids and me and there was nothing that was going to stop you.'

He lowered his head, the tears flowing thick and fast.

'Well, at least you got the kids. Hiro is a lovely baby. I hope he looks like you when he grows up. And Ai's beautiful. She's got your temper. You don't have to worry about the boys. You should be worried _for_ them. And Sayo...'

He inhaled sharply before forcing a smile.

'Did you ever notice that she looks like me? You're an asshole if you never noticed. I kept wondering if you picked her because she looked like me. I liked to think that too. Because in a way, it kinda showed you still really remembered. That you still loved..._me_.'

He couldn't hold it in anymore. As the tears streamed uncontrollably down his face, he clenched his free hand over his heart while he sobbed luxuriously.

'It hurts,' he hiccoughed. 'It fucking _hurts_, Kensei. Why did you forget me? Were you just messing with my head? When you told me you loved me? When you told me you forgot? When you called her _your_ Sayo? You know the worst part? The Primus meant jackshit to me. Your happiness had always been my priority. And the _fact_ that you were happy with your kids, with your life in the virtual world, with _your_ Sayo...I realized that there was no need for me to even _be_ in your life. I always thought I was the only one who could make you happy but I guess I was wrong. You don't need me now. I'm only going to get in the way of your happiness. So that's why...I left.'

Without hesitation, he pressed his lips to the glass in a last, desperate kiss. He moved away slowly. Then, his eyes overflowed, his body curled up into a ball and his cries echoed in the empty metal chamber.


End file.
